The calm before the storm is what defines death in its entirety. The inevitable truth, death, throws itself in the face of adversity. You might see it coming, but all the same, nothing in the world prepares you to witness the big sleep, especially when it happens to someone close.
Keeping everything aside, waking up each day to the thought that we humans are limited editions with no guarantee of life is the only constant truth.
1. The Last Stop
Witnessing a funeral, if nothing, can be an atypical situation. Unprepared, vulnerable, and taken aback. What follows hearing the demise of someone dear is the urge to be there for everyone unconditionally and lend a shoulder to cry on.
The passive inclination to offer sympathy flowers during a funeral service or to a memorial stone is a mandate customary. But why flowers and not a thoughtful gift, the warmth of which can linger for more than a day?
Read a list of unique gift ideas – what to send when someone dies instead of flowers, curated just for you!
2. Ways to Comfort Someone In Grief
2.1. Don’t Rush The Healing Process
Witnessing your people dwell in sorrow feels like being stuck in a powerless situation. In the given circumstances, expecting a family member to move on and rushing the grieving process necessitates escapism. It takes a village to get oneself moving from bed sometimes.
Whether it be your friend or family going through an uphill battle, there can be repeated episodes of breakdowns and the same conversations happening back-to-back.
Time is the best healer. Believe it or not, each time they cry or say the same things, it is near to load off one’s chest. Providing the room to shed tears and be handled with patience can appear so welcoming emotionally.
2.2. Be Available
Photographs, notes, letters, and stories from the past are all one is left with. Be available in whichever way possible. Sometimes, all it takes to feel better is a text from your loved ones.
Take initiative, make calls, hear their anecdotes, and reminisce about the days gone by. This sheer involvement can displace the emotional turmoil and face the truth with clarity.
You may make efforts to write letters in an advancing age of tech. I believe writing letters is the second best thing to a warm hug! When thoughtfully weaved and embossed with healing affirmations, each letter makes room for solace.
2.3. Initiatives To Engage
Behavioral patterns are a huge differentiator in understanding the coping mechanism. There’s a thin line between revisiting the past and getting caught up in the loop of continuous thoughts.
Cutting the monotony of gloominess takes several initiatives one can look up to. Gestures like mutual friends coming together, engaging in cooking, having lunches, going on treks and casual walks are ways to introduce more ways of living a life of bliss.
2.4. Refrain From Unsolicited Pieces of Advice
More than sympathy, the words of empathy instigate a revival instinct to strike back at life. What’s important is to understand sometimes all they need is silence to accompany them with your presence in it.
It might be a helpless situation, but more than forced conversations, your grieving friend looks for a haven to exist solely.
3. What to Send When Someone Dies Instead Of Flowers?
3.1. Books
Books are man’s most refined invention, a genre made for everyone. The silence of one’s grief can better be resonated with an author’s words, moving page by page. Books tend to speak to us at a pace we choose for ourselves. The varied genres entitle us to move on the same wavelength.
Prolonged loneliness, disengagement, and sleep deprivation can provoke illusive dreams and apparitions. Getting better at restarting life and unlocking new adjustments is a gradual process.
For a grave event such as death, sending self-help or meditative books can permeate life-changing ideologies taken from far and wide into the saddened minds. Books with hopeful beginnings, light-hearted humor, philosophical insights, and poetic influences are worth every penny.
3.1.1. Suggested Leisure Reads
Stories that lend hope, inspiration, romance, and remorse are the best closure to life. Below are some book suggestions you can go for:
- The Beauty of What Remains: How Our Greatest Fear Becomes Our Greatest Gift – Steve Leder
- When Death Takes Something From You Give It Back – Naja Marie Aidt
- Tuesdays With Morrie – Mitch Albom
- P.S. I Love You- Cecelia Ahern
- The Art Of Stillness: Adventures In Going Nowhere – Pico Iyer
- The Power Of Now: A Guide To Spiritual Enlightenment – Eckhart Tolle
3.2. A Self-care Basket
Thoughtful bestowals and words of empathy both contribute equally to the healing process. There’s no predefined way to overcome lamenting over the lost soul in such moments.
The process of grieving can be self-depleting at times. Instead of flowers, a personalized sympathy gift basket for a grieving friend can be a perfect gesture of bestowal.
3.2.1. Mandala Books
Mandala art declutters complex emotions. Taking cognizance of the haze of emotions, one colors circular geometric symbols to align one’s focus.
For people with depression, the studies have reflected a dissipation from anxiety and stress. It makes an appropriate sympathy gift because it builds patience, resilience, and a channel to exhibit emotions.
3.2.2. Aromatherapy Candles
Scented candles are therapeutically meditative. There’s a diverse set of emotions—from restlessness to emotional triggers—that a grieving family is prone to experiencing.
Aromatherapy candles use natural plant extracts to generate essential oils. These, when diffused in the air, elicit the smell receptors.
Mainly, it is how the body immediately reacts to its pervasive soothing scent, which stimulates a calming sensation and decompresses stress. This unique gift can let family members take part in this meditative therapy.
3.2.3. A Written Note
A comforting reminder from a loved one feels like a peck on the forehead. An unfiltered flow of discourse resides in composing a sweet message, which even a face-to-face conversation can fail to commit.
Sending a kind note may deliver confidence at a crucial time when everything appears to be crumbling. A fluffy stuffed animal alongside a written note will be appreciated if children are involved.
3.3. A Sympathy Gift Basket
It’s always better to accompany a gift basket with funeral flowers. Because even too many flowers are nothing more than a stale investment. Commodities that benefit the family as a whole make the best gift basket.
Presenting to you wallet-friendly gift guides to stuff your sympathy basket with unwavering love:
3.3.1. Gift Certificates
As is commonly seen, the close ones don’t get enough privacy and time to mourn. The situation demands immediate attention when arranging the last rites and forthcoming events.
Via gift certificates, people can avail of services to eliminate worrying about things like meals and house cleaning.
Usually, a customary memorial service is an expensive affair. Gift vouchers at their disposal may contribute to the funeral ceremony taking place without a hitch.
A lonely mind begets decaying health. There’s a gift card for wellness retreats, therapy sessions, meditative courses, spas, and massages.
3.3.2. Memorial Candle
Prayer offerings and candle lighting symbolize gestures of hope and remembrance. Shared laughter and memories bring kith and kin together.
Gifting a memorial candle is like paying an ode to the prominence of this holy ritual. Reasonably, memorial candles define the idea of a potential sympathy gift.
3.3.3. Potted Plants
Pronouncing the gesture of welcoming nature’s little replica home and blooming each day is a metamorphosis reel to instill hope and positivity.
A houseplant meets the requirements of a bereavement gift. Potted plants are a consciously chosen souvenir channeling towards growth.
Coupled with benefits, house plants bring an overall difference in calm sleep cycles, regulated breathing, and mental wellness. These potted beauties have low maintenance costs, too.
Mentioning briefly the names of plants with sublime healing qualities:
- Snake Plant- air purifier
- Rosemary- elevates mental stability and focus
- Succulents- drought-resistant
- Lavender- calms anxiety and depression
- Spider Plants- air purifier
- Peace Lily- minimizes humidity
- Aloe Vera- treats acne and burns
3.4. Journal And A Scrapbook Diary
Given the memories that keep flashing, journaling can be a conduit for somber expressions of grief. Journals can be the best-preserved versions.
Gifting a journal is like extending a hand to clench memories and simultaneously move forward. Viewing life in retrospection, immortalized in one’s vocabulary, seems like the best celebratory tribute. Besides, journaling ensures clarity of emotions. It is similar to dissecting your everyday goals to understand the bigger picture.
Often, a disturbed mind speaks louder when he goes off to bed, only to get dragged into a far-fetched conversation with oneself. The dilemma engulfs complex emotions, which otherwise make it difficult to converse. A journal can be a much-needed support when there’s no one around to talk to.
For someone dear, you can go the extra mile and maintain a scrapbook with collages of the memories cherished.
3.5. Sympathy Meal
Something as devastating as death leaves the whole family in splits. What follows up is a pile of to-do lists for funeral proceedings. Often, a family grieving is so caught up that even a square meal feels like a luxury—edible arrangements and grocery shopping sound promising and an excellent way to express feelings.
Besides, a lip-smacking homemade meal is a practical gift you can consider. Food items you can include:
- Hot simmering soup
- Chocolate chip cookies
- Smoothies
- Fruits and veggies
- Toasted bread/sandwich with baked beans and pudding
- Salads
- Bagel and croissant
- Pancake
- Cup-cakes
3.6. Keepsake Jars And Memorial Ornaments
In a depressed state of mind, words of positivity can be moving. Keepsake jar is not unheard of, and yet very few can think of gifting one.
A bowl of collective affirmative notes to turn to when in distress is a step toward self-care. Things that ears plead to hear, all boxed in one as a token of love. What a perfect gift that can be!
You can add an essence of yourself by painting the jar with sober shades. Also, a memorial ornament can be a testimonial to the long-lived bond you treasure. You can even weave something new from the leftovers of the departed.
Some heartfelt memorial ornaments can be:
- Personalized framed family photos portraying happy memories
- A souvenir with personalized postcards to honor the departed soul
- Crochet your loved one’s handkerchief
- Make a brooch or a bracelet
- A laminated copy of a handwritten letter of the lost soul.
3.7. Hire An Event Planner
The least a mourning family demands is some time to themselves. Hiring an event manager can probably be the best move to make.
The next imperative decision you can take on their behalf is to hire an event manager. You can buy memorial items while the event manager takes care of the rest.
Viable commuting becomes the next big hurdle. Rental cabs call for a hefty budget. Tracking guests, scheduling, and organizing the funeral ceremony is a lot of responsibility. To ease the commotion, you can lend a helping hand by receiving guests on time. This can result in saving both money and time.
3.8. Book A Vacation
Eventually, everyone will return and get going with their lives, while you will be home alone and grieving. The next hopeful thing to look forward to is a change of place. An end to a chapter connotes a long pause, not a full stop to life.
All in all, you need a camera and a restocked album with the latest snapshots.
Wandering places and unfolding new cultures and vibrant cuisines is a restart worth receiving. Book a ticket in advance and chalk out routes, hotels, things to do, and places to visit. Sign up for life-altering experiences like:
- Kayaking
- Organized Group Trekking
- Meditation Retreat
- Cycling
- Heritage walks
- Exhibitions
- Sightseeing
- Pottery Session
- Plays And Operas
- Live Music Concerts And Fests
- Loiter In Museums
3.9. Financial assistance
Before death, weeks of overhead expenditures like hospital bills, medicines, and medical tests culminate in a financial cesspool. Expenses beyond a limit can be a relentless struggle to make ends meet.
Death is often an uncalled-for situation. Extending financial support goes a long way. Understandably, a bereaved family would rarely ask for it straight away. Indeed, donating for the right reasons never goes in vain. You can wish to drop an envelope even in the gift baskets.
Providing a generous amount to even a family member may feel like a blessing in disguise. A raised fund can give them the freedom to put it to the best use.
4. Final Words
An eternity is what it takes to recover from a loss. What remains is the state of grief. The permanence of the vacuum and acknowledging what’s gone is life in its true essence.
Sometimes, all it takes is to be the personification of ‘light’ at the end of the tunnel. For someone to come searching for you in dead silence. In a state of mourning, a personalized message, bereavement gift, and a thoughtful gesture leave an impact.
Hence, your efforts can incentivize someone’s healing process when considering what to send instead of flowers. A sympathy gift, if anything, should feel like a hug, carrying an essence of you.
Remember, a light purse is a heavy curse. May you never have to see your loved ones cry for financial help. In the grim actuality of such circumstances where a pile of expenses awaits, the most sensible thing is to slide in some donation with a sympathy meal or a gift.
Last Updated on by Mehnaz
