Being in love with someone is so captivating and soothing. But when things go topsy-turvy in a relationship, and you have to end it, things become really unpleasant. The journey after a breakup is even more rugged.
At times you miss your ex and struggle to forget that face. But don’t worry! It’s natural to miss someone and this feeling will naturally fade. Let’s embark on a healing journey and learn what to do when you miss your ex.
1. Understand the Scenario
Life is like a roller coaster, sometimes you’ll have to pave your way through unexpected valleys and troughs. It is emotionally challenging to come out of a heartbreak. But there’s always a blessing in disguise. You should remember that no matter what the situation may arise, your heart deserves all the love and warmth.
The first step to effectively move on is to accept yourself and the situation. Do not try to escape from such hard moments. Accept that you are going through a breakup and you’ll put all your efforts to come out of it.
When you channel your energy into building up yourself, you are bound to see positive changes. Eventually, you’ll be fortunate enough to meet a stronger version of yourself. As Rumi also said – “The wound is the place where the light enters you.”
2. Allow Yourself to Express Your Heart Out
The initial stages of a breakup are taxing. You feel like crying all day and the world seems crashing down. But believe what Louis Tomlinson said – “If it all goes wrong, darling just hold on.” Cry as loud as you can, it will help in easing your pain. Take your time and just constantly remind yourself that it’s just a phase of life.
Reach out to a person who you think can help you in this situation. Seeking support from close friends and spending time with family is recommended. Talk it all out but just make sure that the person is your secret keeper and not a gossip monger.
You can also choose to seek professional help from a therapist or a well-experienced consultant. The counsellors will help you in analyzing your position and discussing coping strategies and plans. They can aid in managing overwhelming emotions and mapping out your progress.
3. Take Baby Steps
It’s appreciable that you’ve decided to heal yourself. Taking small and continuous steps will put you on the right track in life. You don’t have to hurry or bounce back into some other relationship to fill the voids. The priority is to get in rhythm with oneself and focus on self-improvement.
Create a new healthy and engaging routine and follow that. Promise yourself that you’ll dedicate each minute of your life to building up yourself. Learn the art of self-love, practice self-care, and think about your happiness.
4. Renovate Your Surroundings
When you were in a relationship, you would have bought things together and created several memories. But now is the time to take a harsh step and box up all those items that remind you of your ex.
The entire space is all yours and hence it should be fabricated with all your stuff. Sit down with yourself and zero down all the things you’d like to see in your room.
Go shopping and buy lovely decor items that resonate with your personality. If you’re an artist, you can choose to paint the walls of your room. Ask your best friend or sibling to accompany you in setting up your new space. Harness emotional energy and use it to your advantage.
5. Stay Physically Fit
A clinical researcher from Harvard said -” We saw a 26% decrease in the odds of becoming depressed for each major increase in objectively measured physical activity”. There’s a positive correlation between good mental health and staying physically active.
When you exercise you release endorphins which induce a feeling of happiness and pleasure. Wake up early and go for a long walk or a run. Choose a park or any place which is close to nature, since it’ll help in detoxing.
You can also choose to get a gym membership to maintain regularity. So, people get those sports shoes on, own a fresh look, and witness the journey of self-improvement.
6. Get connected to Social Work
When you miss your ex, you might feel like locking yourself up in a room. But that will just accentuate the feeling of isolation and loneliness. Instead, choose to volunteer for a social cause.
People out there are dealing with so much pain and waiting for someone to bring light to their lives. Visit an orphanage, old age home, or any underdeveloped area and talk to the people. You’ll be startled to hear their sufferings and struggles in daily life.
Choose to help them in cash or kind. Believe me, once you help others, the feeling you get in return is priceless. Getting involved in community projects will renew your life’s purpose. Remember – a helping hand can be a ray of sunshine in a cloudy world.
7. Hang Out with Friends or Go For a Vacation
At this time, you need to build a positive outlook towards life. Good friends can help you in cheering you up and they can re-instill faith in you. Your family members and friends are your well-wishers and you should seek their support.
If you don’t have someone to hang out with, don’t worry. Nature is man’s best friend. You can always find a soothing place in the earth’s lap. Go for a solo vacation or a day trip to rejuvenate yourselves and make positive memories.
Choose a place that has greenery and peace. Treat yourself to good food and treats. If you’re someone who loves trendy clothes, explore all the shopping malls.
During this journey of self-healing, you might encounter negative emotions and it’s completely normal to feel sad. But remember, every cloud has a silver lining. It’s the time to recognize your self-worth and focus on your well-being.
8. Write Down Your Feelings
Journaling helps in detangling your tangled thoughts. Take a pen and start writing in a diary as if you’re talking to it. Document all the good and bad thoughts. After writing about your experiences and opinions, think of a possible solution to ease your life. Brainstorm ideas and develop a problem-solving attitude.
Just like every lock has a key, every problem has a solution. You just need to be inquisitive enough to find it and this will eventually help you in establishing a better relationship with yourself.
If you’re an art lover, you can pick up your painting brushes and crayons to express yourself. Many studies have released empirical data to prove the healing power of art. Sculpting, pottery, painting, drawing etc. forges a beautiful connection between your heart and body. This will provide you with a more balanced perspective towards life, thus helping you in moving on.
9. Don’t Compare Your Journey with Others
Remember, everyone is unique, and healing comes down in its own perfect time. There’s no concrete structure of the grieving process. No one can predict how long it will last, how much time you’ll take to recover, or how exactly you’ll feel. You might oscillate between multiple emotions.
Some days you’ll feel sad, and angry, while on other days you’ll feel happy, and relieved. The only important point is to focus on your healing. Some people take years to recover while some move on in a few months. You should not compare your life with others. Slowly and steadily you’ll develop the strength and will get back on track.
10. Take a Break from the Digital World
The world is changing rapidly and all the high-tech gadgets have become deeply ingrained in our lives. We cannot spend a day without our smartphones. This needs to be changed. Gadgets were built to help us and not to disable us.
Especially during heartbreak, you should stay away from social media. There’s a chance that a reel or any picture might show up that might remind you of your ex.
Follow the no-contact rule. Once you’ve decided to part ways with your ex, you should not reach out to him/her in any case. Block your ex or anything related from all social media platforms, so that you get your space to recover. Scrolling their pictures is prohibited. It won’t be easy to do so but great things demand extra effort.
11. Pick Up a New Skill
“Moving Forward” should be the motto of your life. When your relationship ends, you’re more prone to have negative thoughts. To divert your mind, you should do something constructive. Try learning a new skill or strengthen the existing ones. Here are some suggestions.
-Learn a new language.
-Enhance your reading skill, public speaking skills.
-Buy an online course (Marketing, Data Analysis, Business Administration) which can aid you in your career too.
-Start investing or trading.
-Join a theatre, dance class, or singing class
-Buy any musical instrument and while you’ll play it, music will help you heal.
-Learn video and audio editing.
-Fabricate your garden with new plants.
While you’re learning these skills, start doing an internship. Several online platforms are providing work-from-home internships and you can even monetize your work. The idea is to keep yourself busy. Investing in your personal growth will reap great benefits.
12. Important Reminders
Remember to be gentle with yourself in this entire healing process. Do not ever feel guilty about your feelings. There will be days when you’ll feel extremely disheartened and your emotions might compel you to reconnect with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.
Before sending a text, just sit with yourself and ask your heart – “Do you need that person in your life? Why did your relationship end?”
Give thoughtful attention to the displeasing moments of your relations. Maybe your ex had anger issues, or perhaps that person was stealing away your individuality and was a roadblock in your career. This exercise will help get you out of the funk of missing your ex.
Another most repetitive question is – Can you remain friends with your former partner? This is one of the most debatable questions. Those who are in favour, say that staying friends with a former partner for security and practicality is more likely to yield positive results.
While most believe that being friends with them, that too after noticing their red flags is akin to rubbing salt in your wounds. Let’s stop hemming and hawing, and admit that the answer to the aforementioned question is “NO”. Breakup is a clear indication of your incompatible relationship. These lines are harsh but this is the truth.
Don’t feel dejected. The world is not ending. Networking is an important part of a human’s life and meeting new people catalyzes the formation of new relationships. Make sure you learn from your past mistakes and invest heavily in self-care. After you’ve moved on, you can choose to start a new life by entering into a healthy relationship.
Life is so beautiful and nothing can rob away the liveliness from you unless you choose to give up. Shakespeare said -“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances.” If you understand the statement, you’ll understand the conclusion of life.
We understand that breakup hurts. Breakups create emotional voids which is the main reason for the excruciating pain. But believe me, this pain will recede and you’ll be laughing and giggling again.
We hope this article gave you clarity about what to do when you miss your ex. If you promise to follow these steps sincerely, you’ll witness a positive change. Let the world know that you are a warrior and you’re capable of healing and growing. You are a blessed person and you deserve all the love and happiness in the world.